So far, 2021 is shaping up just as tens of millions of Americans hoped it would:
A new president has been sworn in; the Covid-19 vaccine is gradually making its way across America, and a second Donald Trump impeachment trial is currently underway.
Of course, generally, when we think of impeachment, we think of charges being brought against a sitting president.
And the only things Trump is sitting on these days are a mound of discarded Big Mac wrappers and an ass that could put the curviest of Kardashians to shame.
Nevertheless, terrorizing Congress is not the sort of thing that Congress takes lightly, and Trump stands accused of encouraging his merry band of unemployable incels to remove their shirts, don their most dapper face paint, and storm the Capitol Building with the goal of … well, it seems they didn’t get that far in the planning process.
Trump is the first President to have been impeached twice, and he’s the first one to face an impeachment trial after leaving the White House.
Probably not what he had in mind when he talked about his administration making history.
If Trump is found guilty on Incitement of Insurrection charges, he could be barred from ever again holding a federal office in the United States.
So the outcome won’t be earth-shattering for the Donald either way, but for a number of reasons, tensions are running high anyway:
For one thing, millions of MAGA-niacs will blow their tops if the pile of tainted cold cuts they call a supreme overlord is actually held responsible for his actions.
On top of that, the Donald is a widdle diaper baby, and he hates losing almost as much as he hates eating his vegetables.
So if he’s handed another defeat on top of the ass-whupping he suffered in November, you know he’s gonna go on MySpace — or whatever social media platform will still have him — and work his sycophants up into a frenzy.
The Trump legal team suffered their first loss this week when the Senate ruled that the case against him is constitutional and should be permitted to proceed.
But if you’re hoping that decision will be the beginning ot the end for ol’ Donnie, we’re afraid we have some bad news:
Impeachment requires a two-thirds majority in the Senate, and it seems highly unlikely that Democratic lawmakers will be able to convince many members of the GOP to stray from the party line just for the purpose of convicting some paunchy Florida retiree.
Republican Senator Rand Paul has already lobbied to have the case thrown out, and you’ve got a handful of aspiring Brown Shirts like Senator Josh Hawley, who will do anything their flabby fuhrer commands.
But for the most part, Republican senators are fully aware that Donald Trump put their lives in danger on January 6 — but they won’t punish him for it because they’re worried about their own careers, and they live in fear of terrifying their constituents.
It’s the height of cowardice, but what do you expect from people like Ted Cruz?
You can literally tell the whole world the guy’s wife is ugly, and not only will he vote for you, he’ll protect your efforts to destroy the country he claims to love.
2021 might have gotten off to an encouraging start, but with this caliber of spineless rodent in charge, you can bet that we’ll be back in post-apocalyptic hellscape mode any day now.