Meghan Markle’s life is often compared to a fairy tale, and it’s not hard to see why.
She rose above her humble beginnings and dysfunctional family to build a life that took her first to Hollywood, then to the halls of Kensington Palace, then back to Hollywood — this time, as one of the most famous and influential women in the world.
Yes, marrying into royalty is certainly high up there on the list of universal fantasies, but believe it or not, Meghan’s princely marriage might not be the most enviable part of her life.
That’s because she appears to possess a superpower that humans have dreamt of since time immemorial.
It’s true, folks — Meghan Markle never ages.
And if you need evidence, look no further than the photo above, which seems to make the rounds on social media every year around this time.
If we cropped out the slightly awkward-looking teen next to her and told you the pic was taken last week, you would probably believe us.
But believe it or not, that’s Meghan at a holiday high school dance back in 1997!
Beside her is Meg’s then-boyfriend Luis Segura, who gets to spend the rest of his life busting out this pic every Christmas and reminding his friends and family that he once did the Macarena with the Duchess of Sussex.
Of course, an alternate take on the situation is that Luis has to endure the agony of being annually reminded that he had a shot with Meghan freakin’ Markle and he let it slip through his fingers.
Better to have awkwardly made your move in the backseat of a Geo Metro after the winter formal then to never have gotten rejected in any crappy nineties car at all … or something.
Anyway, let’s stop speculating about Luis’ feelings on the subject, and shift our focus back to the surprising fact that the Duchess of SoCal is some sort of ageless vampire.
Further evidence of this irrefutable fact can be found in Meghan’s yearbook photo or any episode of Suits.
Sure, it looks like the Queen is gonna live forever, but she’s already transformed from Clare Foy into Olivia Colman, and now she’s a stock-standard British old lady — a role she’s been playing since about the mid-eighties.
On the other hand, looks as though Meg will never gain a wrinkle or a gray hair, and could credibly play herself on The Crown Season 37!
Okay, fine … we’re well aware that Meghan isn’t actually some sort of supernatural goddess who will never show a single sign of age.
But it’s hard to imagine a more hilariously ironic twist than a true immortal marrying into the British Royal Family.
Here you have a family where every toddler looks like he’s about to spark a up a Lucky Strike and ring Jeeves for his evening brandy, and every adult looks they’ve been in power since the day Archduke Franz Ferdinand was shot.
Into this situation steps an eternally youthful American, the mere sight of whom brings to mind the promise of the New World and the obsolescence of royalty as an institution.
It’s like something out of a fairy tale …