Well, a new season of The Bachelorette is finally upon us.
Following a longer-than-usual hiatus and the disappointment that was Hannah Brown’s season, fans are going into Clare Crawley’s tenure with high hopes.
But if you were expecting the typical season of The Bachelorette, you may be in for further disappointment.
Like the rest of the world, the show has been dramatically altered by the coronavirus pandemic.
That meant a premiere that featured random dudes hanging out in quarantined little huts on a La Quinta resort, nervously awaiting the results of their Covid-19 tests.
So the bad news is, we had a slower than average start.
The good news is, Chris Harrison apparently has powers and capabilities that the US federal government can only imagine, because against all odds, the quarantined version The Bachelorette is actually happening!
So after a whole bunch of off-camera nose swabs (what was up with that? Were they afraid if they showed these guys getting swabbed the rest of America would chicken out and stop getting tested?) we finally got to the part with the gimmicky intros.
The suitors showed up in big plastic bubbles, they dragged parachutes behind them, they wore strait jackets for some reason …
But one guy didn’t need any tricks or props to capture Clare’s attention.
We’re talking, of course, about Dale Moss.
If you watched last night, you know that Clare was so smitten with Dale she announced that she believed she had just met her future husband.
And if you’ve somehow avoided the ubiquitous spoilers up to this point, then read no further, as we’re about to reveal how Clare’s season ends and who she winds up with.
It seems first impressions are a very big deal in Ms. Crawley’s world, as Clare is still dating Dale, and it insiders say the relationship is going smoothly.
Clare was so head-over-heels for Dale that she refused to go on any further dates, so we suppose it’s not surprising that she’s taken a bit of flak from fans.
Now, the Sacramento hairdresser is delivering a very clear message to all the haters and doubters — my love life, my choice.
“My question would be to the people that are saying that — to the people that question it — what exactly is the formula for falling in love?” Crawley asked during a recent interview with Us Weekly.
“Is there one way to do it? Is there one example of this is how it’s done?” she continued.
“Who are these people to decide how long it takes somebody to fall in love? Is it a week? Is it a month? Is it a year? Is it two years?”
Clare went on to point out that unconventional relationships and unconventional circumstances often make for the best love matches, and time is no indicator of compatibility.
She pointed out that she knows couples “that are still not married, that are still not madly in love,” and are simply together “out of convenience and that’s what works for them.”
“How people fall in love and the amount of time that it happens or what the process is [changes],” she explained.
“It’s not for anybody to really decide if there is a cookie cutter for that.”
Asked for further details, Clare wisely dodged the question.
“You know what? A lot of stuff happened on this season,” she said on Tuesday.
“I feel like it would not be doing it any justice if I was to give any of it away to you.”
As former contestant Luke Parker was just sued for $100,000 this week for making unauthorized comments during media appearances, she probably made the right call there.
Of course ABC seems to be aware that the cat is pretty much out of the bag, as they’re already airing promos in which Chris congratulates Clare on having “just blown up The Bachelorette.”
Thankfully, Tayshia Adams was brought in to replace Clare.
Otherwise, we might have been stuck in a winter quarantine with no new episodes of The Bachelorette!